Strike One
by Kerrison
Summary: Tony gets a lesson from his teammates. Seriously? They're kidding, right?


**AN: A little one-shot. Thanks to Jaimee for her help. This may or may not spawn a follow-up. I make no promises. **

"And how did it go with... what is her name again, McGee?" Ziva asked, perched on the edge of Tim's desk.

"Rebecca," he replied, smiling. "It went really well. We have plans for next week. I'm enjoying it, Ziva, like you said."

The sound of a throat being cleared interrupted their conversation and Ziva stood, pulling her sweater down into place.

"What is this little pow-wow about? Don't we have work to do?" Tony asked, leaning his arms on the desk partition.

McGee grinned, finally glad to be able to discuss his romantic affairs in a positive light. "I was telling Ziva about my date last night."

"Is this a real date? Or did you just play online chess all night with some dude in Uzbekistan who happens to have an avatar with boobs?" Tony mocked.

"McGee has met a very nice woman named Rebecca," Ziva supplied. "They met at the coffee shop, yes?" she asked, turning to Tim for confirmation.

He nodded. "She spilled her coffee on me."

"Ah, love at first third degree burn," Tony scoffed.

"If you must know, she was going to get a refill and she stumbled. It didn't burn at all."

"And what does this 'girl' do, exactly?" Tony used finger-quotes around the world 'girl', continuing his mocking doubt.

"She's a gardener," Tim replied. "She works at an organic greenhouse."

"She is quite nice," Ziva supplied.

Tony regarded her with slight shock. "You've met this chick?"

She nodded. "We went to the Nationals Baseball game last Saturday. My first baseball game – it was rather enjoyable."

"I have tickets for next weekend, Ziva- do you guys want to come again?" Tim asked.

She smiled. "I'll check to see if my date is available- but I believe he'd also like to come, yes."

Tony gapped at them. "Your date?"

"Yes, Ducky and Tim and Rebecca and I went to the game last week."

McGee chuckled. "Rebecca and I spent the whole game explaining the rules to them. It was a blast- by the end, Ziva was threatening to put a choke hold on the umpire."

"You asked _Ducky_ to go to the game with you? He's not even American. Baseball is the _American _sport- and you went with _Ducky?" _Tony said, his voice belying his exasperation.

"I enjoy spending time with Ducky," Ziva said, frowning. "And is it a requirement to be American to attend a game?"

"No but-"

McGee leaned back in his chair, folding his hands in front of him. "Maybe she just wanted to spend the day with people how know how to treat a lady."

Tony rolled his eyes. "Can it, McGeek. Your last lady was a blow-up-doll."

"Hey! I -"

Ziva held up a hand, forestalling Tim's retort. "Contrary to your opinion, Tony, I do like to be treated nicely on occasion. It is a pleasant change to spend my spare time with men who know what a woman wants."

"Tell me, Ziva, what _is _it that women want, exactly?" Tony asked, his voice dripping with sarcasm as he propped himself on the corner of his desk and eyed the two of them.

She tilted her head his way, tucking a wayward set of dark curls behind her ear. "You would not understand," she replied quickly. "It takes more finesse," she said, pausing as if searching for the right word, "than you have, Tony."

"Hey, if Ronald McDonald over there can do it, I can!"

"Tim has done very well with his friend," she countered.

McGee nodded in acceptance of the praise. "Thank you- but I've learned from the master. Couldn't have done it without you, Ziva."

Ziva smiled. "My best student yet," she said, patting McGee's shoulder before standing and striding toward her desk.

She was caught with a hand to her arm and she flinched, finding her reflexes still strong as she caught herself from landing a firm fist to Tony's jaw.

Tony released his hold slowly, knowing how close he had come to getting knocked out -- out by a girl, no less.

"Come on, Zee-vah. Share with the rest of the class."

"I do not think so, Tony. I won't be responsible for your actions," she countered, twisting out of his reach.

He pouted like a petulant child. "This is not fair! I need to know this!"

"Know what, DiNozzo?"

Tony startled and turned, hearing Gibb's voice behind him. "Erm, Boss..."

Ziva felt a grin settled onto her face and she crossed her arms. "Tony was asking me the age-old-question, Gibbs," she replied. "What do women want?"

Gibbs smirked and eyed his senior agent. "Its not that hard, DiNozzo," he said. "Women want two things: our time, and our respect- not necessarily in that order."

Tony frowned. "I thought it was the three S's, Boss. 'Sparkly, Sweet, Sexy?' Ya know- Diamonds, Chocolate and Lingerie?"

"You sure you're not the Probie, DiNozzo?" Gibbs asked, rolling his eyes as he moved towards his desk. "McGee do you have that report on Quantico's security logs?"

Tony slumped in his desk chair, his fingers idly typing in the information on their missing Quantico Marine. _Respect? Time? Seriously, Boss? _He thought to himself.


End file.
